WORDS: A COMMON SOURCE OF MISCOMMUNICATION

People have used language for centuries to convey and document their thoughts, findings etc. Some of it was written in the form of scriptures and later on in books, academic journals etc. The written word can hardly be misconstrued, as it is often times thought out and edited before it reaches another individual(s). But the spoken word…..

How many times has it happened that you have said something you don’t mean? Or you are laying down in bed thinking – Damn it I could have handled that meeting better? The reason being we take language for granted. We use it to manipulate and complicate matters most of the time. 

Someone very close to me once said “ We hardly ever mean everything we say.” And this I know to be fact. Very few people actually have the guts to say really what they feel. The world would be a far simpler place if everything would be black and white. But it isn’t. 

Sometimes we say things so as to not offend the people in front of us. This falls into the white lie category. Not entirely false but has a little cushion to soften the blow. Cause lets face it most of us cant handle the truth. 

Sometimes our words are deliberately meant to hurt people around us. This is more often than not a defence mechanism. We tend to project our insecurities on others. Most frequently it is the people we know, love and adore the most. Our parents are standing testament to this. Taking stock of our emotions and actually seeing what is actually bothering us would avoid us alienating our near and dear ones. 

And other times, we say things to manipulate or instigate the situation to suite our purpose. This is a breeding ground for misunderstandings, deception, backbiting and everything else that is wrong with our relationships in todays-day-and-age. Many times we do this without realising it. E.g. if you want to find out something about a person, instead of asking the person directly we start asking around. The grapevine spins its own story and by the time it comes back to you its been blown out of proportion. Simplify your life by just saying what you mean. 

The last of the lot, I like to call them the Miscreants. These are the people that love to start a brawl. They gossip, bitch and create smoke where there was tranquillity before. Shockingly these are your closest comrades most of the time. People who you have confided in and trusted and then there are people whom just love creating up muck. Indifference is the solution to such people. 

Understanding this has helped me understand people a lot and hence improve my relationships in the long run. But don’t over analyse every word that comes out of every person mouth. There is a very large possibility that there is nothing to read between the lines.