Empathy

We have all been through something that has changed the course of our lives forever. Sometimes those events change us and overnight we grow up or become different people. It’s through these life-altering instances that we mould our mind and from our set of principles; those at the time; swear by.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or so they say. While this analogy does hold true for the most part there is a hidden angle, stronger doesn’t always mean better. The rough patches in our lives change our perspective on the way we view the world. Sometimes it relaxes our principles and other times it winds them up tight. We do this as a form of self-preservation if you will, vowing to ourselves that we wouldn’t put ourselves or anyone else through the same thing ever again. When we set out into the world our new set of virtues it makes us also extremely judgemental. Often times we wouldn’t be able to comprehend the actions of others simply because they don’t align with our concept of right or wrong.

A few days ago I had my very own “Eureka” moment. I was put in a situation, which made me stop and think about a set of rigid “rules” I had set for myself. The base of these rules was a lot of hate, anger and remorse simply because I didn’t understand the reason behind that persons’ actions at the time. But clarity came which; was followed by a stream of emotion and finally some relief and closure.

It all boiled down to one thing – Circumstance. It changes people’s perspectives, feelings that in turn, lead them to acting in ways they normally wouldn’t.

I remember walking away from so many situations thinking I would never do something like that. “Never say never,” my grandmother always said and wise she was. The wheels of fortune turned and before I knew it I was in the same situation wherein taking the moral high ground wasn’t the option.

I realised that it’s very easy to judge people in their ivory towers thinking they have everything, but do they really? Everyone has a story, which is different from yours. So don’t just put yourself in that person’s shoes walk a mile in them and then form your judgement. You will find yourself to be a lot kinder in every; regard. This, in turn, strengthens relationships and creates bonds that would last a lifetime.

For those exceptional cases where the relationship is no longer salvageable, this would bring you closure with no ill feelings harboured towards the other.

Empathy is the need of the hour in a culture like ours where is pushes you to stop, think and feel before acting or passing judgement.

So the next time you about to pass a quick judgement just remember to take a moment to Smile, Breathe and Go Slowly.